"I learned fairly early on that a beautiful woman doesn't consider herself beautiful at all. She's often crippled by lack of confidence. Every woman has something they dislike about themselves: if they're blonde, they want to be dark, if they're tall, they want to be short. If they have big breasts, they want to be flat-chested. The list is endless."

- Ed Burns 1998

I reckon this is ever more true in high school and university than in any other time of one's life. However, when the foundations are set for self-criticism, they tend to follow on onto adulthood and sadly, if not dealt with or reflected upon, can lead to a cycle, where such attitudes are passed on to younger girls.

Even knowing what magazines sell on their front covers are often nothing more than an illusion, one can find oneself sucked into the portal of body dissatisfaction and hatred. The environment around us is, unfortunately, not the healthiest for a woman's well being, although thankfully, we are starting to see some minute changes.

As individuals, it is important to be aware of the messages we take on from our external environment and monitor how they impact on the way we view our bodies. Talk about it with friends & sisters, reflect on unrealistic messages without being critical of other women, and let's slowly start to change the attitudes of body hate in society by starting with ourselves & the ones we love. 

Hey Guys,

It gives me great pleasure to introduce our newest guest blogger Vic! Vic like all of us is a REAL girl, she's gorgeous inside and out, giggles when she's nervous and has the biggest heart of anyone I know.

Here are her thoughts on the prices of the products we think we need...

Look in the mirror, what do you see? I see bad skin, freckles, bags under my eyes, messy frizzy hair, big nose, fat arms, eczema, wobbly belly, chunky legs and a girl that isn’t enough. I see everything I don’t want to be. Yet, I have product after product that promises to combat my flaws and make me beautiful. Make me fit in. I wish I could say that as time goes by you realise you don’t need all of these products but instead the list seems to increase and the insecurities grow. Foundation for perfect skin, check. Bronzer to make you glow, check. Mascara to make your eyes pop, check. Fake tan to make you golden brown, Check. Blush to define your cheekbones, check. Hairspray to give you volume and style, check.

The cosmetic market is cashing up on our insecurities and gaining on our self loathe. They are teaching us and making us believe we need them to be beautiful and make us feel better about ourselves. We have become so dependant and so gullible, these companies have even manipulated the system by selling the same products under different labels. But, we are so desperate to believe that the benefits they promise will fix us, that we are willing to let them do this.

The important thing to remember is although no one is perfect; everyone is unique and special in their own way. This should be embraced, encouraged and exercised in our everyday lives. Saying something nice to a friend, family member or even a stranger can go a long way.  Make them see themselves a little different and give them a vote of confidence that hasn’t come out of a bottle. Let that person know what you see as beautiful in them and they might just be lucky enough to see what is beautiful about you.

We look forward to more of Vic's amazing insights

Have a beautiful weekend.

xxx

I found this interesting little conversation on the back a of a toilet door...

GIRL 1: What is the ideal weight for a girl that is 165cm, 50kgs?

GIRL 2: Depends if you're fit. Muscle is heavier than fat, it is better to be 60kg and toned that 50kg and not toned!

GIRL 3: OMG!!! Thanks so much for the info, my ex always complained that I was fat and I was 165cm and 55kgs. And then I tried excercising, but my boobs would always dissappear before my fat does, it's so frustrating, what would you recommend?

GIRL 4: Be healthy and get involved in some self esteem boosters and don't ever get back with your ex!!!

GIRL 5: I know you're beautiful just the way you are, but if you're worried about your boob try working on your pectoral muscles (pecs, yes the guys ones), having them toned lifts your breast tissue.

GIRL 6: F*$k that 'I'm sure you're beautiful the way you are' stuff, never give into superficial, pretentious bullsh&t.

GIRL 7: Here's my tip: don't buy into the ideal weight stuff, he happy and ignore all those self-obsessed losers who think your sense of self worth is something tied to numbers on a scale. And for crying out loud find something real to worry and complain about.

What REAL thinks...that body image is a real issue that concerns many of us on a daily basis. We believe that size, shape, colour and/or branding does not matter, what matters is how you feel, if you feel good, anything is possible :)

15 WAYS TO APPRECIATE YOU

1. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in. Dress to express yourself, not to impress others. You should feel good in what you wear.

2. Cut labels out of your clothes. The size on the tags shouldn't dictate your mood for the day!

3. Stay away from the scale - as a matter of fact, get rid of it! How much you weigh should never affect your self-esteem or your sense of who you are.

4. Before you look in the mirror, think optimistically. When you start your day, decide how you are feeling before going to the mirror. No one looks good with bed-head, and our moods aren't determined by the reflection we see.

5. Stay away from fashion magazines. Let's face it, most fashion and women's magazines focus on an ideal of beauty that is just not something anyone in real-life can be.

6. Make a "Why I Like Myself" list. Think of all the things about YOU that you like - are you honest? Creative? Intelligent? Compassionate? Loyal? Kind? Think of all the reasons you deserve to love yourself and write them down. Hang the list up next to the mirror as a reminder that these things are what make you truly beautiful.

7. Take the time to do nice things for your body.

8. Take risks too challenge yourself. Think of things you normally wouldn't do and try them.

9. Stay alert to fighting negative self-talk. When that little negative voice pops up in your mind trying to remind you how horrible you think you are; have a strategy for turning those negatives to positives. No one is perfect! When you find yourself being self critical immediately stop and pay yourself a compliment!

10. Stay active. Movement is something that helps improve everyone's sense of being. Join a Karate class. Take a thirty-minute walk three days a week. Get outside and play volleyball or go rollerblading in the park with your friends. Take a leisurely bike ride at sunrise. Be active and enjoy life!

11. Ask for a hug when you need it. Sometimes there is no better therapy then a hug and a kind word from someone that cares about you, but our loved-ones aren't mind readers! Tell them when you're having a bad day and ask for a hug, a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to listen.

12. Protect the child in you. Look at children around you - would you criticise them for being themselves? Are you focused on the weight of a five-year-old while you watch them play with friends? Wouldn't you protect a child being picked on? Well you don't deserve to be picked on either, and you don't deserve to be picked on by yourself!

13. Remind yourself that the people who truly love you, love you for YOU, not for what you look like.

14. Remind yourself that looking healthy is something positive. It means that you are well rested, eating right and nurturing your soul. It means no more than that, and no less than that.

15. Remember the whole world... We are all different and we're supposed to be that way. It would be an incredibly boring world if we all looked exactly the same. It's a truly special experience to look around and realise that everyone is beautiful, no matter what size, colour or gender they are. There is beauty in everyone, and that includes you!

Check out http://www.something-fishy.org/ for more info

Photograph taken by Sophie Berdzenishvili check her works out here and here (we think she's wonderful)